So, I hurt my back two weeks ago today. I was lifting 40 pounds of weights and as I squatted and lifted them in a strengthening routine, something gave. The pain was familiar and excruciating. It was a pain that caused my knees to nearly buckle. I had pulled the same muscle before, therefore I immediately knew what I had done.
It was early in the class so, as much as it hurt, I finished out the class the best I could. Stupid? Maybe....but I wanted to finish Besides, I didn't want to have to put my stuff away and explain why I couldn't stand upright. Don't try to understand my logic. You will get lost in the mess.
The pain was unbearable at times. I would sit with a heating pad on it, take some pain reliever and when it got too much to handle, I took a stronger pain reliever. But it just wasn't getting better.
Last week, the pain had moved and set up camp in my pelvic area, around the point where the thigh meets the hip. I finally decided I had to go to the doctor. The doctor is a place I avoid. I don't even have a family doctor so I go to a walk in clinic. I have to be in serious pain or illness to decide the trip is worth it. This was one of those instances.
My mindset was different than it would have been a year ago. A year ago, I would have relished the pulled muscle. I would have enjoyed the thought of just sitting around and having an excuse to not do anything. But not this time. This time I had thoughts of "what if I couldn't go to the gym?" or "what if I can't train to run anymore?"....."what if this is something more serious?". I hated that my body was preventing me from doing what I wanted to do. Also, not being active, I just wanted to eat and that was not a good situation to be in. Not for me, at least.
A trip to the doctor's office concluded that I had a sport's injury - pretty hardcore, if you ask me. ha! So I got some medicine and am 100% better now! Woot! The gym will be seeing me this week! And to top it off, I ran, not my normal 3.1 miles....but I ran 6.2! Who would have thought that *I* could even do that?! Just goes to show - we are so much stronger than we give ourselves credit for!
There will be setbacks and hiccups along the way. We just have to focus and not get hung up on the negative. I did. Sad to admit - I even got teary-eyed thinking I wouldn't be able to do the 5Ks I planned to do this year - pathetic, I know. I got so hung up on the negative and the "what ifs" that I couldn't just take a step back and realize my body isn't as young as it used to be. I am giving it a pounding more so than I ever had. Things take longer to heal...and I did.
So, I share that to say that YOU are stronger than you give yourself credit for! There WILL be set backs along the way. You just have to take a deep breath and realize life is about the moments along the way. No matter if it is bad or good; no matter if it seems hopeless; no matter if it seems everything is against you...... it isn't over. You have family and friends that love you. You have an amazing God that adores you. You are amazing despite your flaws and imperfections. You are you....and that is just perfect!
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